it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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