and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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