The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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