im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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