dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
