I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
