wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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