So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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