Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
