yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
