I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
