At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
