and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
