winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize