i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
