and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
