the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
