I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
