i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize