i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
