I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
