Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
