make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
