Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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