i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i came on her dog
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize