just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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