I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
