I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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