I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize