I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize