i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
