Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
