I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
