If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You're a waste of cheezeits
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
