Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
