you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
