Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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