i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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