he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
