fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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