Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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