I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Can Purell be used as lube?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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