we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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