dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize