I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
