i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
