If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
