Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
