playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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