Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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