apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
