she pinky promised me she was 18
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
