Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
