i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
