I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
