im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
