Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
