Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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