she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
